this is my journal, here you can read some thoughts
that pass through my head.
May 12, 2020
i have spent three years of my life in this state, confused, but lately my hatred for the world is much greater than any other time, u see, i
cannot really live or sleep in peace, my past is now part of my future and my past It's completely screwed up, every single thing i do reminds me of my past self, so stupid.
Sometimes i feel like a ghost, i go so unnoticed by everyone else, it's as if I don't even physically exist in this world, just a ghost remembering every day of his past life, good and bad moments, I have no plans for this life that doesn't whether to die, let's say I lost in every way, but I'm not terrified of dying, I'm terrified of living. My existence should not be considered as life, but as an attempt at it, something so strange and horrible, like some failed experiment, I simply do not consider being human as such, but a mistake on planet earth, I should not be here, I cannot enjoy the feeling of a normal man, these feelings are stronger, there is no one trapped in me, there is only one error, although if I am superior, here I lose myself, among so many lives that will be forgotten and recycled, I am something abnormal, but I cannot feel the feelings of an average human, because I am sentimentally and mentally dead, destroyed, although it could be someone confused about his identity, I really believe that, I will die and be cremated, my body will not exist again and I will be able to feel complete and happy in a place away from disgusting humanity.